Conflict – it’s something we all deal with, whether it’s deciding how to handle a tricky workplace situation or what to do on a weekend afternoon while keeping the WHOLE family happy. How we respond can say a lot about our personalities and priorities. That’s why, at Calm Mediation, we like to have a bit of fun with the idea of conflict animals in our training sessions. It’s a light-hearted way to reflect on how we handle disagreements and how we might work on our approach and improve the way we communicate.
The Thomas-Kilmann Model breaks conflict resolution into two key factors:
- Assertiveness – How much you push for what you want
- Cooperativeness – How much you value the relationship
Each conflict style can be linked to an animal, making it easier (and a bit more fun) to recognise different approaches to handling disputes.
The Five Conflict Animals
🐟 Shark (Competing) – High Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness
Sharks play to win. If this is your inner conflict animal, you’re direct, confident, and focused on the outcome—sometimes at the expense of relationships. While this can be great in high-stakes situations, it might not win you many popularity contests.
🦉 Owl (Collaborating) – High Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness
Owls are the wise problem-solvers. You want both sides to win and will take the time to find the best solution. This makes you an excellent negotiator, but fair warning—some people might get impatient waiting for your carefully thought-out resolution.
🦊 Fox (Compromising) – Moderate Assertiveness, Moderate Cooperativeness
Foxes are clever and diplomatic. If this is your conflict style, you naturally look for middle ground where both sides can walk away with something. It’s a solid approach but sometimes compromise means no one gets exactly what they want.
🐢 Turtle (Avoiding) – Low Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness
Turtles prefer to stay out of the drama. If this is your inner animal, you might avoid conflict altogether, hoping it will go away. While this can help keep the peace, it can also leave important issues unresolved—sometimes, you just have to poke your head out.
🧸 Teddy Bear (Accommodating) – Low Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness
Teddy bears are all about harmony. If this is your conflict style, you’ll put relationships above your own needs, often giving in to keep the peace. It makes you a great friend, but if you’re not careful, you might find yourself agreeing to things you don’t really want.
Using Conflict Animals in Training
In our training sessions, we use these conflict animals as a self-reflection tool to help people think about their natural responses to conflict. The idea is to ask yourself:
- Do I always react the same way to conflict?
- Is my approach effective in all situations?
- Could I try a different style depending on the circumstances?
For example, I tend to be a fox, always looking for a fair compromise. But through training, I’ve learned that sometimes I need to channel my inner shark and stand my ground.
Finding Your Balance
Each conflict style has its perks and pitfalls. The trick is knowing when to switch things up—sometimes you need the confidence of a shark, other times the patience of an owl or the kindness of a teddy bear. By understanding your inner conflict animal, you can become more adaptable and effective in handling disputes.
So, which conflict animal do you think you are? And how could recognizing it help you manage conflict more effectively?
