‘Take only memories, leave only footprints’…whether you are taking a break away or enjoying your local parks and pools, the summer holidays are an opportunity to create great memories. Having clear child arrangements makes a big difference. If you find things are unclear or unbalanced, difficulties often arise which make the experiences less enjoyable.
Be flexible
Lots of articles encourage you to ‘plan ahead’ which is good advice. Booking time off work or arranging childcare are best done early at this time of year. However, sometimes plans must change – it is important to have flexibility but that must be balanced between parents.
If you need to ask for more in one area (eg time), consider what you can offer in another (eg activity cost).
Be realistic with promises
Sticking to the plan builds stronger relationships and goodwill. If you ‘over promise but under deliver’ the arrangements will become generally unreliable which will impact you, as well as others. Being reliable is also a good skill to demonstrate as a role model to your child(ren).
Other family members
Keep an eye on other family relationships. Children will benefit from a wide range of role models so encourage these opportunities for them to explore. If family members are helping out over the summer, show them that you value their input.
The Child(ren)’s voice
A growing body of evidence indicates that having their voice heard, in decisions that affect them, can reduce mental ill health.
We offer Child Inclusive Mediation – the parents still make the decisions but the child(ren) can meet privately with a specialist mediator, to share their views.
Support
It would be unusual for a whole summer to go by without any difficulty. If something happens, you might find this tip useful:
Recognise that you are reacting
Respire – take a breath
Reflect – say ‘I need some time before I reply about that’
Respond – reply when you can do so constructively and not make things worse for yourself
Conversations that work
Where discussions about child arrangements are not going well, give us a call. We can assist you to improve the situation, whether with your co-parent or with others in the family.
The first step is to meet the mediator privately (45 mins). You’ll outline the situation and they will help you to think about it from all angles, so you can decide what to do next, for the best outcome.
If that’s a joint meeting (90 mins), you will have the support of an experienced family mediator to keep discussion focused, constructive and realistic.
Time in mediation can greatly reduce time spent in dispute or with bad memories.
Charges – if you aren’t eligible for Legal Aid, costs may be just £80 as we can offer the £500 Government Voucher. Our highest charges for the two meetings are £95/£190. We don’t charge for Child Inclusive Mediation sessions.
Find out more in the FAQs here.
Call us on 0300 102 3033 to check in, without pressure, if you hit a rough patch.
Summer memories last a lifetime – make them good ones.
