Ahead of his two-day course focusing on the method, Dave shares his insights into what mediators can gain from mastering it.
Question: What’s the advantage of using the ‘permission to share’ model when you’re mediating, and why do you think it’s more effective than others?
Dave: The ‘permission to share’ model is incredibly effective because it reduces tension during the early, most delicate phase of mediation. It allows mediators to ask each client reflective questions and share their insights in the joint session. These questions focus on:
- The client’s feelings.
- Their perspective on how the other person might feel.
- What both parties could have done differently.
Unlike traditional methods, this model allows critical reflections to be voiced early, rather than relying on clients to bring them up. This structured approach creates a balanced atmosphere, highlights the impact of the conflict and positives that people would likely be completely unaware of and can help highlight common ground and any existing shared understanding. It sets the stage for a productive and collaborative discussion moving forward.
Question: How did the ‘permission to share’ model come about? What’s the background?
Dave: This model’s foundations lie in my training as a family mediator in the early 1990s. Family mediation meant meeting clients individually for about 15–20 minutes before the joint session, where mediators would, with permission, share insights from those one-on-one conversations.
At the time, I was also working with Southwark Mediation Centre, handling high-conflict cases. Relying solely on uninterrupted time was risky; clients often veered off-topic, failed to reflect, or made inflammatory statements. By incorporating the ‘permission to share’ process, we reduced these risks and set a constructive tone for the session. It made mediation more balanced and effective.
Question: Why should mediators use this instead of uninterrupted time?
Dave: The ‘permission to share’ model actually complements and enhances uninterrupted time. Sharing key reflections at the start of the session allows mediators to help clients discuss issues with greater clarity and focus. This minimizes the chance of blame-heavy statements that could derail a session. It can make uninterrupted time more impactful and constructive.
Question: What can trainees expect from the training course?
Dave: The training course is designed to refine mediators’ practices and introduce new techniques. Trainees will:
- Examine their current models and practices.
- Learn how consistent, reflective questioning during one-on-one sessions can transform the joint session’s atmosphere.
- Restructure their approach by reordering the timing and interventions to emphasize early reflections and shared insights.
By the end of the course, participants will be well equipped with the skills to integrate the model into their practice and reach positive outcomes.
The innovative method is changing the way mediators approach conflict resolution and allows both clients and mediators to navigate challenging conversations with greater ease and clarity. For more on this, join Dave Walker on his two-day course on 10th and 11th December.
